Zeke Elliot Naked is the Worst Thing You Will See All Day
Every year, ESPN releases their supposedly sexy but realistically awkward, Body Issue, which hails in comparison to Sports Illustrated’s Swimsuit Edition. With this year’s wonderful edition, Ezekiel Elliot went way past showing off his abs in a crop top and went all out, exposing us to his tree trunk thighs and bare ass.
Ezekiel Elliot has always had an extreme amount of confidence in his body. On gamedays, he loves to expose his chiseled abs in a cut off shirt, thinking he is a Greek God of some sort but actually looking like a girl on her way to Coachella who used her dads credit card to buy tickets. Fortunately for us Eagles fans, his sophomore slump is looming and WE ALL know it. You know who will not have a sophomore slump and will throw in the top 5 for yards this season? This guy: The Big Red Savior of Philadelphia. This is what ESPN should have gone with as their “body issue” front cover because it is clear whose body is more chiseled and toned. I’d love to send this picture to ESPN of Wentz slamming a beer with a quote from the great Chazz Michael Michaels “Just thought you’d like to see what a football players body really looks like.”
This picture of Wentz must have just missed ESPN’s radar because if they saw it Ezekiel Elliot would never even have gotten a phone call. The beer in the left hand and the football on the right hand just shows that Wentz is a true American stud born to play quarterback and they picked the wrong guy.
Another bad move by ESPN, but for a company who makes up lies, employs Stephen A Smith and has ratings going down the toilet… I guess this was expected.
By: Aaron Black & Aidan Powers