The National Media Can’t Stop Trashing the Greatest Fan Base in Professional Sports

Ever since Vikings fans’ pathetic plot to takeover The Linc was foiled, they have been spreading fake news about how harsh Eagles fans can be. The cries from Minneapolis, the new softest fan base in America, have not gone unnoticed by the national media. The, “Eagles fans are trash” hot take is especially rampant up in Boston, as the Patriots prepare for Super Bowl 52. Here’s a snippet from a news station in Boston that will be sure to give you second-hand awkwardness:

  Ugh, this is cringe-worthy. I’d say Boston fans calling us rowdy is like the pot calling the kettle black, but Boston fans prefer to use a different word than that. What really pisses me off is the laziness exhibited by the national media and their failure to ever spice up this “Eagles fans are too rowdy” story. It is the same recycled story over and over again and it’s inexcusable. If a comedian comes out with the same material every night, they’d be white noise. The Santa being pelted with snowballs tale is decades old. The “gangs” threatening opposing fans rumor is a lot newer, but still laughable. And Philly fans throwing batteries, that story came out of the same left field Boston fans called Adam Jones the n-word in. Seriously, when was the last time you were going out to a tailgate in Philly and one of your buddies says, “yo, did you bring the batteries”? Unreal. Get some new, authentic material.
 As for this particular Boston newscast team, “fuck you” just doesn’t cut it. The guy with the mustache who is doing the reporting looks like he was the kid in high school who was the varsity team manager because he wasn’t good enough to play. And to the male anchor, we weren’t cheering Donovan McNabb injuring his ankle you misinformed dumbass, we were cheering the fact he played through a broken fibula. How can that trio be so corny and bad at their job?
 And the Philly hate doesn’t stop there. We’ve been catching shit from a lot of different cities, including Pittsburgh checking in:

 Not sure if this lunatic even represents Pittsburgh as a whole but “sub-human” is an interesting place to take things. Just curious what time the Steelers reality show starts on VH1. The list of cities with shit to say goes on and on. Opinions over statistics, of course:

I shouldn’t be this upset and worked up while on the cusp of possibly the first Super Bowl victory in franchise history but getting ignorantly and inaccurately depicted as “sub-human” just crawls under your skin. I spent what was the most magical Eagles season ever being told we are dumb and classless. Dumb, actually “dumbest”, for running Andy Reid out of town (those pesky Titans am I right?) and classless because Minnesotans needed a scapegoat for their lousy voyage to our city. In reality, this could truly be the year that ‘Negadelphia’ is dead and buried. Through ‘The Process’ we exhibited patience never before seen and then we rallied behind a back-up quarterback en route to a Super Bowl. If anything, this fan base is getting smarter and more positive, not vice versa.

Look, are Philly fans rough and rowdy? Yes. Is throwing beer cans at people acceptable? No, because that’s a waste of beer. Should you punch a horse? I feel like you should be born knowing the answer to that. So, fine, give us the terrible reputation as “classless” fans but I wouldn’t trade this city’s passion for anything. There have been times where we have doubted these teams and there have been plenty of times where we have been furious with them. But, that’s all the more reason to admire our passion, because through those tough times, it never wavered. Through all the trials, tribulations and heartbreak, we’ve stood right by our teams which has led us to this glorious once-in-a-lifetime moment we are experiencing right now. So, you can call us classless, you can call us trash, you could even call us sub-human, because in a week you might just be calling us Super Bowl champions…

and if by the off chance you didn’t know how we were rolling into Minneapolis, here’s our mood every god damn day:

By Aidan Powers | January 28, 2018