The Eagles are Coming Out to ‘Dreams and Nightmares’ on Sunday; No Word Yet on Whether the Patriots are Still Bothering to Show Up

Every day for as long as I can remember, and I do mean every day, I’ve envisioned the Philadelphia Eagles winning a Super Bowl. In almost every one of those daydreams, the Birds come out of the tunnel to Dreams and Nightmares, going nuts on the sideline and then demolish their Super Bowl opponent. Well, here we are:

 Never in my wildest dreams could I have envisioned the ride going THIS well so far. It seems like every day, there’s a moment or a storyline that makes me say, “I can’t believe this is happening”. My mom is doing dishes while she listens to that song. Pornhub is donating 136 gallons of lube to Philly. The entire state of Minnesota pretty much wants us dead. This city has gone absolutely haywire and we haven’t even played the game yet.
 Speaking of the game, I’m not sure if it’s even going to happen. Once the Eagles come out to Dreams and Nightmares, the New England Patriots may just turn around, pack up and go home. Ask the Minnesota Vikings how things go when that anthem comes on. No disrespect to Thomas Jefferson and the rest of the founding fathers, but fuck the Declaration of Independence. As far as documents drafted in Philadelphia go, that thing doesn’t even hold a candle to Dreams and Nightmares.
 If you hear, “hold up wait a minute, y’all thought I was finished?!” and don’t want to put a helmet on yourself, I’m going to be concerned you don’t have a pulse. If you don’t appreciate this intro the Eagles are about to have in Super Bowl LII, you may not deserve the parade that could come with it as a result. Just get me to Sunday already…
 One last thing, if we actually win this thing, I propose that instead of rioting on Broad Street we take the riot to Camp Hill State Prison where Meek is located and take him home. Being in there in the first place is ridiculous but not being able to celebrate a Super Bowl we got by motivation through his song seems like cruel and unusual punishment.
Go Birds. Free Meek.
By Aidan Powers | February 1, 2018