Last Night was Just another Example of Why This Team is not Your Father’s Eagles
By: Aidan Powers
It ‘s hard to sit here and express organized thoughts as I still believe I am shell-shocked by what the Warriors did to us on Saturday night. With the Sixers up 22 at halftime, I was counting my chickens before they were hatched. I was ready to lay claim to a blow out of the real life Monstars and then follow it up the next day with a pummeling of Dallas in primetime. Then the Warriors happened. Watching that second half was like staring the Basilisk from Harry Potter in the face, just leaves you petrified and frozen. Then, to top that off, the Eagles come out with that putrid first half performance. We sat there embracing back to back halves of hair pulling and gut punches, leaving us to think, “This is the Philly sports I know and love. The teams that send me into work on Monday morning feeling like a miserable piece of shit”. But that’s not how the weekend ended, because for the millionth time in three months, this team proved they were different.
Tonight’s, “I can’t believe so and so got injured’ predicament is example #462 of why these Philadelphia Eagles will go down as one of the most special teams in the history of the city. This team’s reaction to losing Jake Elliot embodies the mantra they have held since Ronald Darby’s foot looked like a tetris piece: fuck it. Being forced into going for it any place on the field after the 50 yard line plus going for two every time was a blessing in disguise. The offense and the play calling was forced to go balls to the wall, not give a fuck and not look back. In a game where the Cowboys were much maligned because of injury problems, the Eagles took another one on the chin and turned dirt into diamonds. The reckless abandonment needed to play with a linebacker as your field goal kicker was the kick in the ass this team needed to get going and they never looked back. As someone with plenty of experience with real life hangovers, I could see the cobwebs needed to be knocked off of the bye week hangover. When the team came out in the second half with no choice but to go for touchdowns, the floodgates opened in a hurry. A lot of teams with injury problems lay down. Jason Garrett is a lay down guy. This Philly team just rolls with the punches, they absorb them. Then they punch you back.
Now, as much as I enjoyed this blowout of Dallas, I realized that it wasn’t just for the city of Philadelphia, it was for all hard working, level headed, grounded Americans. These two classless buffoons deserved this blowout. They deserved the public humiliation that came with our Birds pouring on 30 points in the second half. Is it a shock to me that Chris Christie is a Notre Dame fan and would wear that XXXXXXXL pullover to a Cowboys game? Absolutely not. Remember how we discussed lay down guys? He’s a lay down, get walked all over, and have Trump force him to eat meatloaf with ketchup, guy. They are the scum of the earth and we kicked their ass. You’re welcome, America.
Oh, and speaking of scum of the earth (okay, maybe a little too harsh), rough night for the “DaK iS tHe BeSt QuARtErBaCk iN thE NfC EaSt” crowd as well as “Draft” twitter. At this point, the folks not giving Wentz credit are just trolls or blindly biased Cowboys fans but I can admit I took a little pleasure in Dak having the worst game of his career (18/31, 145 yds, 0 TDs, 3 INTs, 4 total turnovers, 30.4 rating) at the hands of our swarming defense. Look, Dak is a good quarterback and so is Wentz. It’s not a mutually exclusive thing. But, two quarterbacks faced adversity in this Sunday night showdown, only one was able to handle it. Every day we wake up, Carson Wentz is our quarterback and Ben Simmons is our point guard. Life is great.
One last tid bit: Congrats to Chip Kelly on likely landing the head coaching position at University of Florida. Can’t trade all your talent away if you don’t have any to begin with.