Donovan’s Sexting Skills Are Ruining Our Childhood

Well, if you woke up today, that means a celebrity has been stripped of their job or suspended due to sexual harassment or assault accusations. We’ve seen actors, we’ve seen politicians and now we have hit the former athlete stage. NFL Network on-air talent got absolutely purged today and among those accused of harassment is our beloved #5:

Classicccc Donovan move, mad that Carson Wentz is getting all the attention this week so he had to make all the headlines about himself.

Now, we don’t know if these allegations are true because I really can’t tell what’s rhyme or reason when it comes to these accusations these days. But, it feels like Donovan now fits the bill of the Dark Knight quote, “you either die a hero or live long enough to become the villain”.  It’s not just the sexual harassment allegations, it’s the DUI, it’s the throwing shade at Carson, I just don’t look at this guy in the same light as I did growing up.

I was 5 when the Eagles drafted McNabb. During my childhood, I was spoiled with 5 NFC Championships and the assumption we were going to be the best team in the NFC East year in and year out. Now, a lot of that should be credited to the late, great Jim Johnson, or Brian Dawkins flying around or even Andy Reid, but the face of that era was Donovan. Now, McNabb is just a fill in guy on First Take when Stephen A Smith doesn’t have time to play the race card that day.

This whole debacle just adds to the long list of reasons why Wentz has become the ultimate hero to this city. I’d rather hear Wentz talk about God’s shitty “perfect plan” to tear Carson’s ACL and have Nick Foles lead us into the playoffs than hear about Donovan asking if a woman would “CUM over for dinner” like a 15 year old.  Ben Simmons has a better chance of hitting a three pointer than a guy does replacing “come” with “cum” and getting a girl to agree to hangout with him.

Since it’s 2017, everyone is guilty until proven innocent but I really hope these allegations aren’t true. Most importantly because you shouldn’t be harassing woman in the workplace, but I’d also like my childhood view of Donovan McNabb to be preserved. I want the most egregious thing that guy has ever done to go back to being when he threw up all over the field in the Super Bowl. Those were better days.

By Aidan Powers | December 13, 2017