Dion Waiters On the Sixers or Chronic Hemorrhoids: Which is Worse to Have?
The Warriors dominance turned the NBA season into a snoozefest but it has also turned the early NBA offseason into a adrenaline filled frenzy. With the uncertainty surrounding the Cavs and Chris Paul to the Rockets, the NBA offseason has fans constantly refreshing their Twitter feed for Woj Bombs before free agency has even begun. July 1st at Midnight marks the start of a fast pace moving pieces extravaganza filled with eye popping rumors, star studded meetings and banana boats. But, with all the action of free agency also means the return of one horrid, seemingly annual occasion: Dion Waiters Homecoming rumors.
The best combination to describe Dion Waiters would be self-absorbed and lacking in talent. Every year since the inaugural season of ‘The Process’, uninformed talking heads have been clamoring for the Sixers to bring in a veteran presence to tell the young guys, “when to nap” (why on God’s green Earth is Michael Wilbon allowed to do draft coverage?). Last offseason, and now again this year, Dion Waiters, otherwise known as the spawn of Satan, has been linked to the 76ers so that this young team could have the help of a veteran shooting guard because what better guy to teach the youngins than a player who thinks Lebron should sacrifice shot attempts for him.
Some fans now believe Waiters could be a viable option as they have beenduped by fools gold in the way of Waiters bloated numbers in Miami. As a one year member of the Heat, Waiters put up formidable numbers on a team that failed on their pursuit of the 8th seed in the East. Waiters poured in a solid 15.8ppg last season and had a stretch where he could not miss a game winner (boy, do you have to be in dire straights to be depending on Dion Waiters in the waning moments of a game) which has set him up well to make some money this free agency period…and if the Sixers give it to him I will die.
I don’t want to dwell on the present, I want to remember the good ‘ol days, when Lebron the player hated Waiters so much that Lebron the GM got him traded to the Thunder. Once on the Thunder, Waiters infamously helped put the finishing touches on a 3-1 choke job for the ages in the Western Conference Finals that inevitably led to KD joining forces with the Warriors. See, Waiters is even to blame for super teams.
Look, I didn’t spend four years watching my team get disgraced on a nightly basis, have the national media rip our process to shreds and have our genius of a GM forced out the door just to watch Jahlil Okafor and Dion Waiters play on the same team.
In a way, Dion Waiters to the Sixers rumors are a lot like chronic hemorrhoids…a pain in the ass that just won’t go away.