The Ultimate Troll Job of the Patriots

By: Aaron Black

There is not much stock to put into a preseason football game, but I would be lying if I said last nights game didn’t have a little extra juice. I speak for all of us when I say we wanted to go into New England and dominate for those few minutes the starters played. We wanted to walk into New England, shove the Super Bowl trophy down their throats, and watch Doug call 56 Philly Specials in a row. Sadly, it did not happen this way, and I will not waste anyone’s time with an analysis of last nights catastrophe of a “football game.” (BTW the head down rule will cause me to break something more than once this year).

What did happen last night was the greatest troll job in this history of man. Nick Foles playing like he was a blind man was incredible! Think about it, we had billboards mocking the Patriots outside of their very home, we had flyovers during the game, but the best of them all was Nick Foles being AWFUL last night. Imagine sitting in that stadium as a Patriot’s fan watching Nick Foles and thinking “how the fuck did this guy beat us in a Super Bowl?!” If I were a Patriot’s fan last night I would have been on the verge of punching a small child in the jugular while watching Foles stand in the pocket and not throw the ball away or do anything to make a play. But because I am not a low life scumbag Patriots fan I was in my glory. It was almost like Doug planned this. Brady not shaking his hand and Belichick being a smug bitch made this even sweeter.